Tuesday, September 2, 2014

The Two Front War on Women

Liberals and conservatives both seem to have some desperate need to place women into some narrowly defined box of what it means to be a woman. Conservatives speak of the traditional woman, liberals the liberated woman, what does that mean, who sets the definition of what that is? Is traditional defined by marriage and children or is it defined by what her ideology is and how she lives her life, can you be a traditional woman and not marry? There seems to be this prevalent attitude that a woman is somehow flawed if she fails to take the path society has laid out for her. If both conservatives and liberals believe in the individual and individual choice, why not let her decide what path is best suited for her?  
Marriage is not for everyone, raising a family is not for everyone, being single is not for everyone and why isn’t that okay? If you are a woman of a certain age and are childless you are judged. If you are a single mother (for whatever reason) you are judged. If you are a working mother you are judged, if you aren’t working you are judged. One size does not fit all and no, we don’t all want the same thing, both sides should celebrate that not attack it. We claim that we celebrate the individual and individual liberty but we attack those who choose a path we find distasteful or are unfamiliar with.  

While the numbers vary according to the source; on average 40-50% of marriages end in divorce, 60-67% of second marriages end in divorce and 73-74% third marriages do. Many more divorces are occurring with those over the age of 50; sociologists say the rate has doubled since the 1990’s and 66% of those divorces are initiated by women, one would have to wonder why?
AARP did a survey of dying people and asked what their biggest regrets were; the number one regret was not having the courage to live a life true to myself. That pretty much says it all. 

We are human beings before we are women and there is not a one size fits all.